panic

markets crash into the shore
creating romance for beach bums
a aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
an eggshell on the "a" key
chaotic clockwork
the one sure thing

prone position

living with my back against the wall
my hands in front of my face
ain't all that bad after all

the safest place to be in this bar fight

nothing creeping up behind me
can't see disappointment coming my way
near misses were never a concern
the hits i probably had coming to me

and the soundscape is spectacular

placing shadows

self-conscious and awkward
the average fight the darkness

transparent and smooth
the few bend the light

we see shadows or rainbows

we see the end of the rainbow
at the end of the rain
at the end of the rain
we see the beginning of the shadow

transparent and smooth
the few bend the light

plenty of womb

something outside this wall of cellular tissue
is clearly in control

i feel safe/warm/provided for

comfortable

knowing...
no, feeling...

that i can't die until i'm born

the road of life

i am not a passenger
'just like driving with my eyes closed
...takes the edge off the dull

it's now or never

deep reflections result in absolute yes
yesterday and tomorrow sum up to no
now or never is the truth
truth in words is impossible now
no there is no tomorrow in yesterday
yes memories run less than skin deep

a liquid pledge

if he knew he had 15 minutes until all matter turned to dust

he'd spend the first 8 minutes with his children
Raining hugs and praise before sending them with their friends
to explore their world for their last 7 minutes
then 3 minutes to eat a fruit and write a poem for her to read
and spend the final four lying naked
Listening to her talk of whatever comes to mind
staring into her eyes until the wind took them away

he knows all matter will turn to dust but he doesn't know when
so he listens to the news

home

there's been no transplantation
nothing buried underground
nothing lost that can't be found
less of a half meter trek
under suffering over pain
to the heart from the incessant brain

philosophy

i am therefore i think, but
i am not who i think i am, or
what is not thought is what i am, i think, but
i know...or think i know...
this love of knowledge is killing me.

bangkok sunrise

life's simplest pleasures begin to boil to the surface of the street
and i feel home for the first time in years

evolution revolution resolution

perception
to
movement
to
sex
to
emotion
to
production
to
planning
to
frustration
to
violence
to
cooperation
to
enlightenment
to
perception

picking mushrooms

we eat our own words
deliciously nutritious
frivolously psychedelic
dangerously poisonous
what i say creates me
and nothing else

[untitled]

back to front
north to south
alpha to omega
top to bottom
east to west
beginning to end
i love you all

there, i said it.
now i'm scared to leave my room
where the hell do i start?

contact

atomic forces see that nothing touches nothing
like when we leave our homes and the walls come with us

InSomNIa

At certain times there are no logic lines to follow, no guiding emotions, just infinite arbitrary choices. Not funny, not sad, not anything. Spiritual blindness. Intellectual chaos. A cognitive fever evolved to defend against harmful invasive thought patterns. A soulful master cleanse. Fasting from sleep lets the mind break-down dream residue buildups thus clearing neural passageways and increasing the flow of creativity. Pattern breaking is an essential step to good health when not observed on a regular basis.

love explained in its totality

open

silence

no not yet
don't say that
stupid idea
never say that again
you look so silly
clumsy, fragile
you're so weak
nerd
get away from me
you bore me
not very bright are you
you're embarrassing me
that hurts
how awkward was that?
you're failing yet you're trying so hard
remember the last time

i

i(and i use the term loosely)
must forget who is me
because i is a box
closed at the top
a limited vocabulary

desire

what mind am i?
none i hope
i desire only
to work with my body
to put my mind on screen
and leave it there
that i may perfectly feel
the only real
of skin touching skin

emancipation

bureaucratic emotionality expressed in words
less cathartic than lip biting
more harmful than carbon monoxide
suffering side effects of the neocortex
become detached and fall into the comfort of chaos
the cocoon of the imagination
the womb of the original
the 3rd planet from the sun

los angeles constellations

stars hide under smog of light
only the most powerful appear
forming unfamiliar patterns...
shallow images set in smoke...
deriving new stories out of old

economy of expression

tap the tree of its lifeblood
fall the corpse into firewood
boil the filler to atmosphere
bottle the sweetness for profit

out of sight out of mind

keep me out of sight
and its extensive illusion of mind
keep me out of mind
and its extensive illusion of sight

you have far more interesting collections of nerves
ones i'd love to repeatedly fire
ones that don't get intertwined
with the sticky web of connections in my own head

ones that require stimulation sans stipulation
ones that seek pleasure sans measure
ones free of logic/memory/fear
ones free of the medium mediating mediation of the mind

with love as an active thoughtless feeling
with reptilian circuits linking directly to the heart
my upmost respect and admiration goes out
to the toddler, to the monk, and to the dolphin

atmosphere

What a bright day it is today. Clean and crisp. My mind races with thoughts about life... about film... about you... but today is one of those days where thoughts feel like infringing clouds creeping between me and the clear blue sky and actions feel like warm winds gently escorting them somewhere safely beyond the horizon where they fall to the ground and replenish the water reserve. Let's move together.

arctic circle

highs and lows or constant conservation
can't make up my mind
but this cold wasteland seems slightly better
because at least i know people here

power

there is a power behind everything
we see connections where at times
we see only the space between
in the end we are only the chances we take

gravity

thank god for gravity
it keeps me grounded
it keeps me grave
in search of a new method of survival
i found heaven under a rock
it slapped me in the face
told me i looked ridiculous
gave me a hug
and vanished without a trace

thank you

thank you for introducing me to your friend misery
she bites hard and leaves scratch marks
but man i've never had better
if happiness ever speaks to me again
i'll notice the hesitation in her embrace

edge

looking down paralyzes me with fear
looking back seems impossible
but i can't stay here

change me

pressurized words escape the bottleneck of my mind
birthing a shrieking voice to the boiling volume inside
as those i love the most bring out the worst in me
and i crave the violent healing of a thunderstorm

so

so much beauty in the world
so easy to get lost in it
so i let go of my conscience
so i focus on suffering
so i have something to hold on to
so what?

perpetual motion

pick any moment
from conception to sublimation
i love you in it
ain't nothin' gonna keep me from you
but that's all hypothetical

in this moment
and this moment
and this one too
i hold you close and tight
and give and take with you

industry of the senses

speakers fall into the resonance of life
like falling into love without expectations
my other 4 senses form a jealous mob

angel eyes

human eyes feel like lasers
burning holes in my forcefield
blistering my skin leaving scarring

angel eyes feel like campfires
leading souls to a gateway
creating a world leaving nothing

the other infinite

warm light and photosynthesis
my favourite star

the other infinite
collectively alluring
hide behind your blue sky

until you leave
to shine on the other side

lighten Up

lying on the ground with my feet in the air
i hold the weight of the world on my shoulders
and it's only as heavy as i am

intellectomy

take my eyes and ears and let me forget
all the words i ever learned
so my thought disappears

or

remove the region of my brain responsible for forethought
so i write poetry of the moment and smile at strangers
without thinking they might think i'm crazy

"m"

f i l e my l i f e
under "m"
for "miscellaneous"

so it goes

i continue to walk the tightrope and absorb the sting of the whip
which you lash over your shoulder out of disinterested habit
while you share a cigarette and giggle with the circus clown
could i trouble you for a balance beam?

pesticide

today is a beautiful day
i feel at peace with the world
big things like insect wings
stretch beyond my comprehension
small things like human beings
feel as natural and arbitrary
as they might actually be

arbitrary intelligence

tungsten filaments radiate an orange heat bouncing off selectively reflective surfaces
stimulating the nerve endings at the back of my eyes and i feel like i see
there is so much more that i am missing right now
so much stimuli gone undetected by my specialized sensual circuits

greedily, i want to absorb more, wisely, i understand that my mind can't handle, all at once,
the tiny stream of information my body is capable of collecting

sometimes i catch myself feeling smart, and then i remember
that my consciousness holds as much of the essence of the universe
as a teaspoon could draw from niagara
that's why when i went there
i threw my teaspoon into the falls
and wished i'd brought a camera

digging upwards

take a deep breath. hold onto it. beautiful isn't it? astronomy is an uncomfortable subject for the agoraphobic.
let it go because holding on for too long becomes counterproductive.
with solid rock beneath my feet and nothing but limitless space above my head there is nowhere to go but up.
i can't figure out where i am in the universe until i figure out where the universe ends.
the middle of nowhere is plenty more precise a position than i am privileged to understand.
no matter how deep a hole i dig for myself, i feel comfort knowing that if i just keep digging long enough,
eventually i'll be digging upwards and tomorrow will soon be yesterday.
time to stretch.

life is deadly

be here with me. i need you.
i just found out that life is deadly.
beauty is catching the eye of the right beholder so
let's be frank and let frank be someone else for a while...
wow, frank is incredibly far-sighted.
i can't see worth a damn two feet in front of my face but
the far side of the horizon is visible in sharp detail.
maybe sleep is a mechanism designed to protect us from
too much happiness or too much misery contiguously.

next best thing

here and there
the right things swing into
outside parallels
running from the light of the inside out
to the darkness
of consciousness and all I am
doing is trying
to do the next best thing

big brain experiment

black and white frames of jealousy and anger meet in a grey wonderland
of misery / pain / suffering and endless analysis of taxed emotions and mental states
crumbling under the pressure of centuries of rules and regulations
unquestioned by millions of participants in a big brain experiment featuring ignorant-self-awareness

fortune blessed me with a brain too small to find answers to big questions, and therein lie
my mechanisms for both salvation and salivation each seemingly instinctual responses outside of my control,
brought on by my exposure to the proper external stimuli under the proper conditions
with the proper timing and the proper balance of physical / metaphysical properties

if only my small big brain could reach the former state as easily as the latter, namely,
by the smell of a fresh cut apple or the serendipitous glimpse of feminine cleavage
the processes of joy / pleasure / happiness would literally be a piece of cake

forever young

beginning with the letter "I" shows no concern for the rain on my window
the soft sound always makes me feel warm

follow the river underneath and you are bound to fall into darkness

breath deeply
you never know when it will be your last breath

i want to quit consuming honey and move into a beaver's hut

wake up

you don't want to miss this

simplicity beautiful

Conflict violent of point breaking the to life complicate that ones the are they yet, sense common by guided, forward-straight and simple appear may, relationships human of governance the in involved those like, rules other. Simplicity beautiful of system a create ultimately and practice of bit little a after sense perfect make they yet, sense of lot a make to seem don't and complex are language of structure the in involved those like, rules some. Ignore to rules which and to attention pay to life in rules which decide to me for difficult it's.

self-reflection

with fear in my heart, i face myself
not in a mirror
but some kind of mirror of a mirror
that reflects from the inside out

the closer i get the deeper i see
only truth of real importance is reflected back at me

the voices in my head tell me this is a bad idea
but when i look in the special mirror
i don't see the voices in my head

so they must not be of any real importance